Two weeks ago I celebrated my 56th birthday! My sister and I celebrated our birthdays together with a family lunch. And today… I can celebrate my second birthday, because every extra year after my breast cancer diagnosis is worth a party!
For a few days now, the annoying memory of the moment of my annual check-up has been gnawing at me. First a mammogram and then the results from my surgeon. I never look forward to this appointment and I don’t know why, but I felt more nervous than in previous years. In the waiting room, which is quite pleasant in itself, I sat staring into space for half an hour, occasionally exchanging a few words with my husband and watching people come and go.
Over the past week I have been looking for distractions to avoid thinking of this check-up. After a long break (flu, Christmas, virus etc.) I picked up the job of my hall cabinet builtin again and found distraction in sawing, drilling, assembling and finishing the drawers. But in the waiting room I couldn’t find any distraction, not even on my phone.
Finally it was my turn. The mammogram is especially annoying for my operated breast, but it is short-lived. The pictures were good the first try, so flattening each breast twice (front and side) was sufficient.
I once read the following opinion about mammography research: if research were to be done in this way for testicular cancer, another method would have been devised long ago…
Together with the laboratory technician I looked at the screen for a moment, but I am not an expert in the field of mammograms. I did clearly see the five metal clips in my breast that the surgeon had placed as a guide for the radiation. These clips remain in your breast as landmarks for imaging techniques.
Breast tissue can be classified into gradations of density, from A (not dense) to D (so dense that it is actually impossible to assess). The density of my breast tissue is C. As you get older, your breast tissue becomes less dense. Women with a breast tissue density of D can get the result of the population screening: ‘no breast cancer found’ or ‘not assessable’. This does not necessarily mean that there is no cancer; it is just very difficult to detect. So it is good to know what your breast tissue density is and to follow your gut feeling.
Surgeon
Fortunately, I did not have to wait very long for my surgeon and she immediately got to the point, namely: “Good news, nothing strange to see on the mammograms!” Phew! After discussing my complaints and undergo physical examination, I was completely reassured and a burden fell from my shoulders. She explained the pain in my bones, which fortunately does not resemble bone pain with metastases. Unfortunately, she cannot do much about that, just like the insomnia, fatigue and stiffness. Because of my hormone-sensitive breast cancer, all drugs with hormones, such as those prescribed for menopausal symptoms, are off-limits.
This was my fifth annual check-up and I thought that I would now be completely let go. I was a bit hesitant about that. However, my surgeon explained that the policy is to remain under supervision until you are sixty with breast-conserving surgery. I found that reassuring. I am not very happy with my hospital because of the poor communication, but my surgeon is gold, as is my breast care nurse. I have a lot of confidence in these two women and that is the most important thing there is. My surgeon treated me in a life-saving way and besides being very skilled, she is also very human and empathetic. I have never done this before, but when I said goodbye I asked if I could give her a hug…
Oncologist
I do not have an oncologist at the moment. The first was a temporary one, the second unfortunately moved far away and the third unfortunately left for another hospital. The last conversation with a temporary oncologist (six months ago) was strange and awkward, we were not on the same wavelength at all. It also did not help that the hospital had given me the name of another, new oncologist. The conversation was pointless and a waste of my time. In the file, without consultation, she stated that follow-up appointments are no longer necessary. Even though I no longer use medication, my last oncologist thought differently about this. If I think it’s necessary, I’ll ring my breast care nurse and she will manage.
We went back home very happy and relieved and I immediately sent a message to our boys, some family and friends. Then I sort of collapsed, suddenly the energy was all gone.
Life after cancer is not perfect, but I’m still strong and starting to gain some confidence again.
Let’s celebrate what we can celebrate, because it can be over in an instant ❤️
Let’s goooo!!!